Spiders and Butterflies
by Zolac no Miko
Summary: Episode 17 from Knives' POV... Knives' realizes the purpose for his existence and makes a decision... sometimes, sacrifices must be made.


Hey all! Another one-shot fic. This one's more serious than my other ones. Of course, that would be hard to avoid, considering the nature of my other stories. Anyhoo, Trigun fic, Knives' point of view, episode 17: "Rem Saverem." Enjoy!  
  
Thank you to DJ Fuminshou and Kuro no Hoshi for beta-reading. You both get cookies! I wish you guys could see all the hilarious doodles Kuro-chan put all over my first draft. Instead, you can go read her fics and see how funny she is, okey-day?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun. Sigh.  
  
Warnings: Spoilers for episode 17. Ya might wanna go watch that before reading this, if you haven't already seen it. This is basically the entire episode, just from inside Knives' head. Also, this fic makes references to the true nature of the plants, so ya wanna see episodes 20, 21, and 26 as well. At least. I recommend just watching the whole darn show. This fic is rated PG-13 for some naughty language, mention of child abuse, violence, and death. There's not really that much. I'm not sure it should be PG-13, but I'd say it's more than PG.  
  
Spiders and Butterflies  
  
There it is. It's so small. Just a dot on the screen. It's hard to believe that planet is bigger than the ship. Bigger than *all* the ships. It sure doesn't look like it....  
But... it's so beautiful. Shining golden, alone in the dark.... Perfect. Like a jewel.  
Doesn't look like we'll be living there. It's not really human friendly. Oh well, we'll still get to look at it real close.  
Vash. What are you doing now? Jeez... I sure do have an idiot for a brother.  
  
So. We're here because the humans destroyed their own planet. They used up every resource on that world until it became impossible to live there. As they began to die out, the need to survive drove them into space, to search for a new home.  
So that's it. I don't know... it seems wrong to me. To sacrifice an entire world....  
Joey says sacrifices are a part of life. Every animal makes sacrifices in order to live. He says that humans use their superior logic to make the smallest sacrifice possible.  
Rem says humans also have the ability to recognize their mistakes and learn from them. In the new world, humans will be able to right their wrongs.  
I just don't know. Will they?  
  
Oh no. Vash. You're crying again. What's wrong?  
It's Steve again. He hurt you, didn't he?  
He hates us. Because we're not human. He says we're monsters.  
He hurts me, too. Kicks us. Beats us. He calls us things. Like "bastard." And "son of a bitch." I looked up those words on the computer. They're not very nice words.  
We just have to wait. The humans don't accept us yet. We just have to wait. Sacrifices are sometimes necessary in order to live. So we'll just be patient, and make the smallest sacrifices we can.  
  
Plants don't talk. They don't have free will.  
Vash says what Rem told us, that plants are so strong, they don't need words.  
I think Vash thinks I'm talking about the other kind of plant.  
Still, it's the same thing, really. Plants are strong, but we eat their fruit. We have to, in order to live.  
Humans can't live without the plants. All their energy, everything they drink or eat, comes from the plants.  
I wonder... will I be eaten?  
Vash doesn't think so.  
I don't think so either.  
So why am I here? There has to be a reason....  
  
Vash loves Rem. At least, he thinks he does. He says that he really loves her.  
I don't. I don't love her.  
  
I'm different from Vash. He doesn't see... doesn't *choose* to see how they feel about us. They don't like us. They don't trust us.  
They can't live without us. Our brothers and sisters... they just *take* from them... they just take, and take, and take. Like they always do. They just use their resources until they're gone.  
It's all wrong!  
I have to do something.  
  
I feel refreshed. My vision is clear now. I know why I'm here. I have free will. I have the power to change things.  
Steve's drunk again. He says we're monsters.  
Look at him. How disgusting. Such disgraceful behavior. *He's* the monster.  
I know why he acts this way. It's because he's afraid.  
He should be.  
I know what I have to do.  
Sometimes, sacrifices must be made.  
  
A butterfly. So beautiful. So perfect.  
Trapped in a net made by the spider. The spider will eat the butterfly. The spider will suck it dry.  
Vash wants to save the butterfly. So do I.  
Killing the spider is the easiest way.  
Why are you so angry? You can't save both. If the spider doesn't eat the butterfly, the spider dies of starvation. A choice must be made. Naturally, I choose the butterflies over the spiders.  
Rem says that no one has the right to make that choice.  
I know I'm right. You can't save both. Save the butterflies and the spiders die. You can't get around that, no matter what. It's naive to think you can.  
You have to take action. You have to make a choice. If you wait around and think about it, the butterfly dies.  
Vash. Do you really like the spiders that much? I thought you'd be happy that I saved the butterfly. Why are you so angry?  
You make no sense, Vash.  
  
My plan worked. I knew it would. I'm smarter than the humans.  
Goodbye Steve.  
Even now, Rem wants to save him. Rem always wants to save everyone.  
Look at him. He's afraid.  
I'm sure he understands. About sacrifices.  
  
Gunshots. What's going on?  
Rowan shot Mary. He's crazy. He killed Steve, and Mary rejected him. So he killed her.  
No. He's going to shoot me. He says it's my fault.  
It's his fault. He's just being a selfish human.  
Rem's trying to stop him.  
You can't stop him from killing, Rem. It's what humans do best.  
Joey's on the intercom, yelling. He's afraid.  
Rowan says he feels numb inside. He says he can't stop. He's afraid.  
Rem's trying to take the gun. She still thinks everyone can be saved.  
Yelling. Everyone is still yelling.  
The doors are open. All the air is rushing from the ship. Rowan and Mary are gone. Rem and Vash are crying.  
Joey did it. He pushed the button. He had to make a choice. He chose to kill Rowan.  
I can do it now. I know what to do. They'll think it was Rowan. He was crazy.  
I have to make a sacrifice, so Vash and I can live. I can't let the humans spread their disease. I can't let them kill another world. I can't let them use my brothers and sisters, taking and taking. I have to do it. I was born to do this. This is my choice.  
I will kill the spiders to save the butterflies.  
  
* * *  
  
Notes: Ya. See? Just a tad more serious. I wanted to write this and get inside Knives' head. One of the things I like about Trigun is how good and evil kinda blend together a bit. See, I understand where Knives is coming from. I can see why he would be upset about the prejudice and abuse and slavery. I can see why he would feel disdain for humans, who are often so quick to hate, to use, and to destroy. I just think he went about fixing the problem the wrong way. Oh well, Vash will save him yet.  
By the by, what the heck kind of name is Knives? Who would name a kid Knives? That's just wrong. And we wonder why he turned out this way. 


End file.
